#16: Sing Out, Louise, or Being Public and Other Dilemmas

Today's request is for a public life.

Some interesting things have been happening as a result of this blog. For one thing, people are starting to read it. For another, they're starting to tell me what they think. And some of my co-workers are now aware of a part of my life I've kept private up until now, such as, for example, my clitoris.

(All I can say to that, dear co-workers, is that I've known and worked with some people who've made me MUCH too aware of their privates from the get-go, so be thankful and then put it out of your mind. I'll come up with a synonym. My "unicorn" perhaps?)

One of the great things about writing is the illusion that you're engaging in some kind of dialogue with the collective unconcious without the collective unconcious actualy saying anything back to you. Praise is great; opinion, critique, and the sense that I'm appearing in someone else's dream without my clothes on, not so much.

But that is the difference between living out in the yard, in the park, on the street, way up high on the mountain -- and under your bed, in your house, with the windows shuttered, locked and painted over.

I'm having trouble right now with writing every day when there are responses, which is riduculous, because I could just pick up a paper journal, they are typically pretty quiet. So I'm forging ahead.

I'm going to allow comments here for now because I do find it helpful and interesting, and because I do believe everyone has a right to express what they think. Unless what they think is that I belong in hell, or spam for a porn site, in which case they have no rights at all accoring to the Me States Constitution.

I am going to maintain a fourth wall however if I get an opinion on what I should or shouldn't be doing or feeling, because without the fourth wall, I can't keep writing this. I'm feeling very overwhelmed at the moment.

But back to the request -- to be comfortable showing whatever parts of myself I choose to whomever I choose to show them to. To not live in a segmented way. To not act so happy if I don't feel like it. To not be worried about seeming too happy. To be unconcerned with other people's responses, because that's what I'm usually trying to avoid. Integration, I guess.

One more thing. It occurs to me that nearly everything I've been asking for is for me. Well, at the moment, I'm trying to get my own house in order to go do some great things. I think change in the world starts with the individual. I've seen some little bits of evidence of that, and it's thrilling. However, I do plan at some point to ask you all to close your eyes and wish real hard for big changes in the world and see what happens.

Maybe we can start by conjuring a unicorn. And by unicorn, I mean unicorn.

Until Tuesday -- have a nice vacation.

#15: Just let me write

My problem is rarely a lack of ideas. It's usually that I have too many ideas and freeze. So here I am, writing, even if this is short, humorless and not that intelligent.

Insert joke here about guys I've dated. . . .

Regarding a previous post, my friend's dog is OK with total recovery uncertain at this point but I'm very thankful he's still here, both for the dog and for the friend.

Regarding another previous post, I have been invited to sing in the wedding of a friend. I haven't sung in public by myself in years without the aid of several cocktails and/or a karaoke video of people running along a beach while I croak out"Love Is A Battlefield." Not to say I haven't considered those options for the wedding, but I'll probably stick to one of the lovely standards suggested by the jazz band.

I'm thrilled about this. And by thrilled I mean really happy and honored with a side order of panic attack.

Perfect

From Overheard in New York:

How Can I Help with Your Typical Teenage Problems?

Teen: Are you there, God?

Techie in catwalks: Is that you, Margaret?

--Sheepshead Bay

Overheard by: Ilysse

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/011373.html

#14: My fantasy/science fiction wish

In the realm of the more wacky wishes, here's what I really want.

I want all local and state governments to hire geniuses and empaths. People who are so smart they can see 10 steps down the road what could happen and people who are so sensitive they can see 10 steps down the road what could happen. You know, the people nobody ever listens to. People who can look outside of how things are done to how things get done.

In the investigation around the recent fire at the condemned Deutsche Bank building, where two NYC firefighters were killed, it was discovered that the company hired to demolish the building had never demolished an environmentally or structurally hazardous building before, which could be why they still hadn't demolished the thing a year after winning the contract. In addition, the building has been more or less sitting there since 9/11 because no one remotely legitimate wanted to touch the project.

Hmm. Condemned building, sitting there for six years, harmed in 9/11.

I wish I could have taken the damn thing down myself. I wish the rules had gone out the window and a creative solution was reached.

I wonder how many more problems like this are sitting out on the street.

Rescinding

My friend's dog was badly injured last night by another dog so I'm taking back my previous request and making this one -- please help him recover.

Lucky #13: A New Myth

I am a big fan of the myth of Orestes. There are many versions of it since it has been translated and retold many times.

The baisc jist of it is this: Orestes' blood line has been cursed for many generations. Orestes' mother and uncle murder his father. Appollo shows up, all golden and glowy and pissed, and tells Orestes he has to avenge his father and make things right. Orestes is tormented by this, but he does it.

You'd think he's free now, but ohhhhh no. The Furies show up and torment him for what he has done and don't exactly accept his explanation. There is a trial and the jury is split right down the middle. Athena shows up and casts the deciding vote, showing mercy and setting Orestes free.

I love the basic idea here, that we have the power to end our curses, but don't think for a minute it's going to be easy. Orestes' "hero's journey" is not simply revenge, but ending the madness and illness that has plagued his family for generations, and in so doing, he frees himself to write the story of his own life.

But I think, as of now, I don't need this myth any more. If you'd like it, you can have it.

I'd like a new myth.

More

I have been getting headhunted. Terrible word for that -- I prefer the phrase my mother's company uses, executive recruiting, so civilized.

But it feels right now like they're coming for my head. Companies finding me and calling me and saying "So, you've been working by yourself with success for seven years. Come work for us! Sit in that cube! We want your head!"

And I'm talking to them. But in the end I know the life I want, and it's one where stars pour out of my chest and I see miracles in the real world and I have time to hold my friends hands and have mine held. It's one where real things are said and real problems are solved and pain is acknowledged and not drowned in the b.s. of happy hours and I am living my responsibility as a parent to help my son be whole and sane and safe and loved. It's a life where creation and thoughts and ideas and kindness are valued. it's a life with loud music. And loud laughter.

I don't have that life all the time but I feel I can make my life that life on my terms. And put that out around me.

My son cried in my arms for twenty minutes last night over not having a bottle, just limp across my shoulder, and I thought, thank God you can cry on me. Thank God I feel safe to you. And then he went and sat on his dad's lap at dinner and ate about a cup of salad and then I thought thank God you're eating lettuce and you think that's fun. And then he happily toddled off and put his train tracks together by himself and said "Look look! I did it!" And then he told me about all the friends he'd seen that day and what color their shoes were. And just about everything that comes into my head is thank God, thank God, thank God.

The world needs people who are centered, secure, happy. You get that by filling children up with love and not hurting them, abusing them, neglecting them. I want to somehow move toward aiding in that fight, I think it's the only fight. I don't know yet how to get there.

I'm staying right here.

#12: Let Something Ridiculously Cool Happen Today

I know it's unfair, but I feel like I need a little proof.

As for yesterday, it was my husband who asked for some part of his life to be easy. At dinner, around 7:00, I looked over at him and said "Remember how you wanted some part of your life to be easy? Well, it's about to get easier, because I'm going to bed."

Until tomorrow.

#11: Make some part of my life easy

This is not mine, but is for someone else, by request. Did you know I take requests?

I'm going to sing in public in October and I organized the medicine cabinet, so two recent requests are moving along.

I'd like to figure out some way to save the world's children and be fabulously dressed at the same time. Any suggestions?

#10: Help me get organized so I never have to think about what's in this house again

Sort of the Oprahfication of the spiritual, this, but the reality is, I don't want to think and labor and panic over it anymore. I want to walk through my house like I'm walking through a field or the surf falling on the sand. Serene, and oblivious, and with other places to turn my attention.

Happy Sunday. I'm off to attempt the poaching of eggs for an anniversary (not ours) brunch.

Until tomorrow.

#9: Let me make something beautiful

Even if it's just by reposting something the Dalai Lama said. I found this while surfing for information on human rights violations by China that are being watched by global organizations in the countdown to the Olympics. I was thinking about this blog, and how it feels selfish asking for things for myself in light of all the problems in the world. I do believe that change starts with the individual, but I'm eager for that change to start extending itself somehow.

If you don't feel like slogging through this, here's the part that hit me most:

"Under present conditions, there is definitely a growing need for human understanding and a sense of universal responsibility. In order to achieve such ideas, we must generate a good and kind heart, for without this, we can achieve neither universal happiness nor lasting world peace. We cannot create peace on paper."

Until tomorrow.

http://www.dalailama.com/page.62.htm#Individual_power

Individual Power to Shape Institution

Anger plays no small role in current conflicts such as those in the Middle East, Southeast Asia, the North-South problem, and so forth. These conflicts arise from a failure to understand one another's humanness. The answer is not the development and use of greater military force, nor an arms race. Nor is it purely political or purely technological. Basically it is spiritual, in the sense that what is required is a sensitive understanding of our common human situation. Hatred and fighting cannot bring happiness to anyone, even to the winners of battles. Violence always produces misery and thus is essentially counter-productive. It is, therefore, time for world leaders to learn to transcend the differences of race, culture, and ideology and to regard one another through eyes that see the common human situation. To do so would benefit individuals, communities, nations, and the world at large.

The greater part of present world tension seems to stem from the 'Eastern bloc' versus 'Western bloc' conflict that has been going on since World War II. These two blocs tend to describe and view each other in a totally unfavourable light. This continuing, unreasonable struggle is due to a lack of mutual affection and respect for each other as fellow human beings. Those of the Eastern bloc should reduce their hatred towards the Western bloc because the Western bloc is also made up of human beings - men, women, and children. Similarly those of the Western bloc should reduce their hatred towards the Eastern bloc because the Eastern bloc is also human beings. In such a reduction of mutual hatred, the leaders of both blocs have a powerful role to play. But first and foremost, leaders must realize their own and others' humanness. Without this basic realization, very little effective reduction of organized hatred can be achieved.

If, for example, the leader of the United States of America and the leader of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics suddenly met each other in the middle of a desolate island, I am sure they would respond to each other spontaneously as fellow human beings. But a wall of mutual suspicion and misunderstanding separates them the moment they are identified as the 'President of the USA' and the 'Secretary-General of the USSR'). More human contact in the form of informal extended meetings, without any agenda, would improve their mutual understanding; they would learn to relate to each other as human beings and could then try to tackle international problems based on this understanding. No two parties, especially those with a history of antagonism, can negotiate fruitfully in an atmosphere of mutual suspicion and hatred.

I suggest that world leaders meet about once a year in a beautiful place without any business, just to get to know each other as human beings. Then, later, they could meet to discuss mutual and global problems. I am sure many others share my wish that world leaders meet at the conference table in such an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding of each other's humanness.

To improve person-to-person contact in the world at large, I would like to see greater encouragement of international tourism. Also, mass media, particularly in democratic societies, can make a considerable contribution to world peace by giving greater coverage to human interest items that reflect the ultimate oneness of humanity. With the rise of a few big powers in the international arena, the humanitarian role of international organizations is being bypassed and neglected. I hope that this will be corrected and that all international organizations, especially the United Nations, will be more active and effective in ensuring maximum benefit to humanity and promoting international understanding. It will indeed be tragic if the few powerful members continue to misuse world bodies like the UN for their one-sided interests. The UN must become the instrument of world peace. This world body must be respected by all, for the UN is the only source of hope for small oppressed nations and hence for the planet as a whole.

As all nations are economically dependent upon one another more than ever before, human understanding must go beyond national boundaries and embrace the international community at large. Indeed, unless we can create an atmosphere of genuine cooperation, gained not by threatened or actual use of force but by heartfelt understanding, world problems will only increase. If people in poorer countries are denied the happiness they desire and deserve, they will naturally be dissatisfied and pose problems for the rich. If unwanted social, political, and cultural forms continue to be imposed upon unwilling people, the attainment of world peace is doubtful. However, if we satisfy people at a heart-to-heart level, peace will surely come.

Within each nation, the individual ought to be given the right to happiness, and among nations, there must be equal concern for the welfare of even the smallest nations. I am not suggesting that one system is better than another and all should adopt it. On the contrary, a variety of political systems and ideologies is desirable and accords with the variety of dispositions within the human community. This variety enhances the ceaseless human quest for happiness. Thus each community should be free to evolve its own political and socio-economic system, based on the principle of self-determination.

The achievement of justice, harmony, and peace depends on many factors. We should think about them in terms of human benefit in the long run rather than the short term. I realize the enormity of the task before us, but I see no other alternative than the one I am proposing - which is based on our common humanity. Nations have no choice but to be concerned about the welfare of others, not so much because of their belief in humanity, but because it is in the mutual and long-term interest of all concerned. An appreciation of this new reality is indicated by the emergence of regional or continental economic organizations such as the European Economic Community, the Association of South East Asian Nations, and so forth. I hope more such trans-national organizations will be formed, particularly in regions where economic development and regional stability seem in short supply.

Under present conditions, there is definitely a growing need for human understanding and a sense of universal responsibility. In order to achieve such ideas, we must generate a good and kind heart, for without this, we can achieve neither universal happiness nor lasting world peace. We cannot create peace on paper. While advocating universal responsibility and universal brotherhood and sisterhood, the facts are that humanity is organized in separate entities in the form of national societies. Thus, in a realistic sense, I feel it is these societies that must act as the building-blocks for world peace. Attempts have been made in the past to create societies more just and equal. Institutions have been established with noble charters to combat anti-social forces. Unfortunately, such ideas have been cheated by selfishness. More than ever before, we witness today how ethics and noble principles are obscured by the shadow of self-interest, particularly in the political sphere. There is a school of thought that warns us to refrain from politics altogether, as politics has become synonymous with amorality. Politics devoid of ethics does not further human welfare, and life without morality reduces humans to the level of beasts. However, politics is not axiomatically 'dirty'. Rather, the instruments of our political culture have distorted the high ideals and noble concepts meant to further human welfare. Naturally, spiritual people express their concern about religious leaders 'messing' with politics, since they fear the contamination of religion by dirty politics.

I question the popular assumption that religion and ethics have no place in politics and that religious persons should seclude themselves as hermits. Such a view of religion is too one-sided; it lacks a proper perspective on the individual's relation to society and the role of religion in our lives. Ethics is as crucial to a politician as it is to a religious practitioner. Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion.

Such human qualities as morality, compassion, decency, wisdom, and so forth have been the foundations of all civilizations. These qualities must be cultivated and sustained through systematic moral education in a conducive social environment so that a more humane world may emerge. The qualities required to create such a world must be inculcated right from the beginning, from childhood. We cannot wait for the next generation to make this change; the present generation must attempt a renewal of basic human values. If there is any hope, it is in the future generations, but not unless we institute major change on a worldwide scale in our present educational system. We need a revolution in our commitment to and practice of universal humanitarian values.

It is not enough to make noisy calls to halt moral degeneration; we must do something about it. Since present-day governments do not shoulder such 'religious' responsibilities, humanitarian and religious leaders must strengthen the existing civic, social, cultural, educational, and religious organizations to revive human and spiritual values. Where necessary, we must create new organizations to achieve these goals. Only in so doing can we hope to create a more stable basis for world peace.

Living in society, we should share the sufferings of our fellow citizens and practise compassion and tolerance not only towards our loved ones but also towards our enemies. This is the test of our moral strength. We must set an example by our own practice, for we cannot hope to convince others of the value of religion by mere words. We must live up to the same high standards of integrity and sacrifice that we ask of others. The ultimate purpose of all religions is to serve and benefit humanity. This is why it is so important that religion always be used to effect the happiness and peace of all beings and not merely to convert others.

Still, in religion there are no national boundaries. A religion can and should be used by any people or person who finds it beneficial. What is important for each seeker is to choose a religion that is most suitable to himself or herself. But, the embracing of a particular religion does not mean the rejection of another religion or one's own community. In fact, it is important that those who embrace a religion should not cut themselves off from their own society; they should continue to live within their own community and in harmony with its members. By escaping from your own community, you cannot benefit others, whereas benefiting others is actually the basic aim of religion.

In this regard there are two things important to keep in mind: self-examination and self-correction. We should constantly check our attitude toward others, examining ourselves carefully, and we should correct ourselves immediately when we find we are in the wrong.

Finally, a few words about material progress. I have heard a great deal of complaint against material progress from Westerners, and yet, paradoxically, it has been the very pride of the Western world. I see nothing wrong with material progress per se, provided people are always given precedence. It is my firm belief that in order to solve human problems in all their dimensions, we must combine and harmonize economic development with spiritual growth.

However, we must know its limitations. Although materialistic knowledge in the form of science and technology has contributed enormously to human welfare, it is not capable of creating lasting happiness. In America, for example, where technological development is perhaps more advanced than in any other country, there is still a great deal of mental suffering. This is because materialistic knowledge can only provide a type of happiness that is dependent upon physical conditions. It cannot provide happiness that springs from inner development independent of external factors.

For renewal of human values and attainment of lasting happiness, we need to look to the common humanitarian heritage of all nations the world over. May this essay serve as an urgent reminder lest we forget the human values that unite us all as a single family on this planet.

I have written the above lines
To tell my constant feeling.
Whenever I meet even a 'foreigner',
I have always the same feeling: '
I am meeting another member of the human family.,
This attitude has deepened
My affection and respect for all beings.
May this natural wish be
My small contribution to world peace.
I pray for a more friendly,
More caring, and more understanding
Human family on this planet.
To all who dislike suffering,
Who cherish lasting happiness -
This is my heartfelt appeal.

#8: Please let something fabulous happen to that poor lady at the WaWa who kept getting screwed over while she was trying to get gas for her car

Back from vacation. My hostess wrote my childhood nickname in the sand by my beach chair while I was swimming. Another literal sign, unasked for, but being loved by the people you love is always the most wonderful thing.

Until tomorrow.

#7: And thank you again

(From Thursday, posted Friday night)

I’m at the beach with my family, having a swim every day and watching ospreys and eating Springer’s ice cream. When I’m not doing that, I’m trying to keep my two year old reasonably unmelted. Between the two, I couldn’t think of a thing, other than gratitude. Oh well.

Until tomorrow.

#6: Thank you, and Paul’s signs

(From Wednesday, posted Friday night)

I’m just saying thank you to the universe today. It needs a day off, too, and I’m a big believer in gratitude. And not pushing it.

Also, I got my sign. But as mentioned, I can’t really talk about it. Suffice it to say I hadn’t told my husband I needed a sign and while we were walking on the beach he spontaneously wrote in the sand exactly what I needed to hear. I’ll take it.

A word about signs. This is a true story. I haven’t changed the name because it does contribute to the validity of the story. So Paul, if you’re out there, sorry about your first name anonymity.

I once knew a guy name Paul. He was living with friends who were supporting his attempt to become a published author. Paul didn’t have a job and I have no idea if he contributed anything to the household other than being witty, which he did very well. He was also kind to me on one occasion, and danced quite awesomely to Prince when drunk on cheap gin. This is the extent of his talents as I knew them.

Paul spent most of his days in the house, writing. One day he got completely fed up and frustrated and wondered if he’d ever accomplish his goal. He asked for a sign to tell him he should keep going and said that if he didn’t get it, he was going to quit and go get a real job.

Paul went downstairs for a cigarette. As he was standing on the street, a truck went by. On the side, it read “Paul’s Signs”.

Paul said, well, OK, and went back upstairs to get back to his writing.

Paul’s Signs is a real company in Brooklyn. What they do other than provide Paul with messages from God as requested, I don’t really know.

Until tomorrow.

#5: Please give me a sign

I can't really get into the specifics of this right now. Suffice it to say I need my monkey mind and my oozy messy heart to get on board with one another and make sure they are consulting eachother on major decisions. It feels lately like one or the other has pulled a coup, and maybe my brain is telling me things that aren't true, or maybe my heart is the wrong doer. I don't know.

In other news, #3 got answered big and strong when two of my favorite people wrote me lovely kudos on this blog, so forward we go.

We're off to the beach for a few days. I'll try to post from there, depending on the wi-fi situation in the house. If the universe is anywhere, it's hanging out on the beach, in the water, out by the stars.

Until next time.

#4: Help me to keep my eyes open to the gifts i'm being given, or, Duh.

I reviewed the last entry and mentally smacked myself in the forehead, which by the way still smarted just a bit.

I'm overweight. I'm just overweight enough to not be clinically obese, but I'm too damn overweight. I've made several attempts to lose it. Methods have ranged from by burning calories by complaining to smaller portions of dinner without changing much else.

This time I'm on an actual diet and actually exercising and by exercising I don't mean the ten sun salutations I slog through every so often. I mean running.

Encouragement from my best friend to go to the gym has helped as has general advice from my husband, a former college track runner whose primary nicknames were 'Legs' and 'Tiger'. Both of which are hot, and both of which I must start calling him again immediately, come to think of it.

The thing that tipped the scales for me was my son's pediatrician. Who by the way is tiny and cute and a wonderful doctor and if he would let me I'd put him in my pocket and have him live there.

When my son was first born I was scared I'd pass on some of my lesser traits to him (depression, asthma, addicition to Molly Ringwald movies). The asthma was the big fear, because having it as a kid terrified me. On any given day, you just suddenly can't breathe.

When I talked to Pocket Doctor about it he gave me some nutritonal advice and things to look for but the best thing he said to me personally was this: There's really no such thing as exercise induced asthma. You get that when you've never been toned or trained properly to be active (hmm, that's me), and then are forced to be too active (my high school gym teachers, who addressed everything from your period to a broken leg with "Stick a FIST in it! Walk it OFF!").

So, in the last couple of weeks I've determined that the time is at hand to get in control of my health and weight. The biggest motivator is honestly that my son is quite the climber, and I don't want to be the parent watching him be active from the sidelines and wishing I had the strength to do it myself. Cause that's lame.

And also so, I spoke to a total stranger yesterday who told me several ways that he works out dilligently and takes care of himself that he does so because he wants to live and is lucky to have had the chance to live.

Duh.

And so last night, I went out for a run. And I laughed the entire time.

Until tomorrow.

Question #3: Universe, I need to know if this blog is a good idea. I'll stop asking after this.

No direct answer from the great starry neverendingness, but I did hear a story from a stranger that I thought was worth posting, so I'll take that as a "yes" until further notice.

While on line at the drugstore today, my son asked me for a piece of gum. The gentleman behind me made a comment that he'd love a piece of gum but he couldn't afford the calories.

I said ten calories wasn't so bad. He said he watched everything he eats now because he'd had some health problems.

My husband chatted with him about running and we talked about our son and his grandaughter.

As my husband went to pay for our things, the gentleman told me he had been in 9/11 and had retired soon after and gained a lot of weight by 2002, and ever since he'd worked hard to take better care of himself.

"Were you in the twin towers?" I asked.

"I worked at Cantor Fitzgerald," he said. From his build and demeanor I expected him to tell me he'd been a cop, but he was a trader. I told him I was so sorry.

"Every Sunday I go the gym and I run on the treadmill and I burn 911 calories. That's my ritual."

"That's a good workout," I said, right before the number dawned on me.

"It's for 9/11," he said, without further explanation. I nodded and said I thought that was a good thing. I don't know what his exact reason is, if he has one, but any one way of looking at it I could think of was a good one. He's here, he's alive, he's taking care of himself, he needs to remember, he needs to honor the people he lost. Whatever it is.

We all said goodbye and I told him it had been nice talking to him.

And it's been nice talking to you. Until tomorrow.

Request #2: Universe, please help me to manifest my creativity into my life's work

This, after already starting this blog and signing up for an art class, now I suddenly want to sing in front of hundreds of people, something I've been terrified -- mortified -- to do for 15 years. And this came to me out of nowhere last night, after the ask, although I guess it's been there all along, just encased inside of my scaredy-cat brain.

I'd really like the universe to make the haircut I'm about to get turn out okay, but that would probably be pushing it.

Question #1: Universe, please help me figure out a name for my blog

Last night I started thinking about an experience I had a couple of weeks ago. I was missing a friend of mine who was killed seven years ago. The anniversary of his death is coming up next week. On my way to a bar, I looked up at the sky, told him I still missed him, and that I needed some help.

Within a few hours I was chatting with a few other bar patrons about travel and the education system and how to start your own business. One of the guys I was talking to -- handsome, charming, well-traveled, successful -- told me that his best friend from college had died in his arms. Soon after the bar owner mentioned to me that his father was dying.

It helped me. Those two little comments helped me so much. I thought, everyone lives with grief, everyone deals with death, everyone has some space in their life that they are still working through, no matter how perfect other things may look. And we can all help eachother. And I'll always miss my friend, and I think he helped me.

Then I wondered what would happen if I just started asking for answers or help or a sign or what have you every day and blogging about what happened.

I asked the universe for a name for the blog, because I suck at naming things. Then this came into my head -- Are You There God? It's Me, Blogging.

I went into the livingroom, where my husband was watching something with guns on tv with his headphones on and his other wife (our cat) in his lap. I told him the idea.

"That's great. Why wouldn't you call it that?"

"Because I love Judy Blume and without Forever I probably never would have found my clitoris, and I can't imagine anything more depressing than the woman who helped me find my clitoris issuing a cease and desist order for my blog about trying to find meaning in the universe."

My husband made several other really good suggestions, like Blogprints in the Sand, but they all sounded more Jesusy than I would like and they didn't hit the mark. He assured me he would have eventually found my clitoris even if I'd never read Forever. He gave me some great advice on web searching similar titles and then basically said, come on, you know that's the name.

Question answered. See you soon.