Be The Change You Want to See in the World

I believe that one is Mahatma Ghandi. Another wonderful quote is right on this site -- "My life is my message." So what is the message of your life?

Life is getting very hectic -- job changes, work environment changes, all of which I'll be able to talk about more in the New Year. I also have an idea for a new blog that I'm very excited about, but don't know if I'll be able to sustain both. I am officially taking myself out of the pressure situation of blogging here every day, although I do want to write here as often as possible.

Little proofs of the good that comes from connecting and asking for what you need have been everywhere in my life lately. It makes me wonder, who is asking for what I need? And is it working?

More soon.

Taking a break

Need a break today, hope to post by tomorrow. Take care.

The (Overwrought, Overdiscussed) Butterfly Effect

Since we're nearing the end of the year I thought I'd go back over these posts and see how things have transpired since I picked up the megaphone of this blog and started shouting into the dark heavens.

I took another look at post#1, Universe Please Help Me Find A Name for This Blog (with apologies to RG who made it very clear he never again wants to read about just what Judy Blume helped me find. I owe him a nice, calming post about baseball.)

What struck me most is that I had totally forgotten the incident in the bar that had led me to start blogging in the first place. Some strangers told me a couple of small stories and nudged me in another direction, one I wanted to go in but just didn't have the map to. And if it hadn't been recorded here, I'd have forgotten all about it.

A good friend of mine recently went through a bad breakup. She said a story I'd told her ten years ago about my breakup with my first love helped her, as did other stories she'd heard about breakups. This was her first real breakup with a longtime love. She said having no experience at this, all these stories prepared her, and she leaned on them, thinking about how her friends had felt and how they'd gotten though it, and it helped her follow a path that others had already walked.

I guess what I'm learning is that life is not a series of big dramatic moments. It's a constant weaving of thousands of threads. You're weaving other people's lives without even knowing it.

The love I have for Owen, my friend who died years ago, still reverberates even though he's not here to tease me about it. After a very bad recent day, when I only saw my badness and all the reasons why the couple of people I know are angry with me right now absolutely should be, and I said "I don't think I can handle this pain anymore," well, there he was. I came home from my evening class and sitting in the lobby of my building were a few true-crime novels. (One of the things I've come to love about my building is the neighbors leave books and magazines for eachother). At the top was Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Owen's favorite contemporary book and one I've never read. I'm reading it. And all the things I loved about him -- his humor, his warmth, his sense of the absurd and of the good -- are still right here in the world and even in this book with its strange blend of lurid and lovable. And of course I can take any pain there is to be doled out.

Insert Mary Tyler Moore Theme Here

Personally, I adore the Husker Du version. But, in a word, love is all around. I've spoken to five of my favorite women in the last 36 hours, and I'm struck by how many more people I could easily put among my favorite people. I have been, in so many ways, a big jerk about letting in the many people who would be so happy to be here, and in return I've been nowhere for them. So, I'd like that to change, starting. . . . . . . now.

Tiny little miracles

1) My computer rose from the dead this morning, bowed low at the waist and tap danced around the room. While it was making me some tea in an elaborate ceremony, the doorbell rang and the new battery for it came. The computer clicked its heels in glee. After two hours on the phone with (remarkably nice and helpful) Dell tech support people on Friday, who had me do everything short of attaching jumper cables to the laptop and starting it off the engine of my car, I'm in genuine shock that flipping the on switch this morning actually worked.

2) I may have an opportunity to periodically go to London for work, neatly and shockingly solving the problem of how I am ever going to see my best friend from childhood who lives two hours from London by train. Even the possibility of this blows my mind. Who ever actually gets what they want? Me?

3) In the debacle following the computer's three days on the slab (I guess it's Happy Easter for the computer), my fabulous Andrea offered me the use of her home office, which I am going to take her up on starting this week. This is another one of those unbelievably lucky and generous happenstances -- I really need to work somewhere other than my house with the working husband next to me at least some of the time, and I would not be able to afford an office space on my own.

4) We loaned a friend of ours a chunk of money several months ago when they couldn't make their rent. We later told the friend they didn't need to pay us back. Genuinely felt that way. Said friend has since gotten lucrative work and not only wants to pay us back but offered to help us start a college fund for our son and make sure our investments line up. Said friend is in finance industry. Said friend rocks.

5) I stopped drinking coffee this weekend after having food poisoning Friday night and figuring that it might be a good time to clean the slate of abusing my body, mainly with caffeine and sugar. The miracle part of this is by taking vitamin supplements and sleeping when I needed to, I somehow never turned into the Jabberwocky nor ate my friends and family whole in one big gulp.

Til later.

Newsflash -- God Hates Knowledge!

Or, when you look into the atheist, the atheist looks also into you.

Obviously this website does not reflect the beliefs of most Christians or even Evangelicals. And obviously I have to stop reading it. Like now. But I can't, Yahweh-dammit, I can't.

From www.needgod.com (which, by the way, you wind up at with the same types of web searches that seem to lead people here, poor souls.) Italics are mine. Here's how to read them. Picture me screeching with laughter whenever you see italics.

<< 10.If you know the Lord, nothing will shake your faith. It is true that the man with an experience is not at the mercy of a man with an argument. Take for example a little boy who is looking at a heater. His father warns him that it's hot. The child says, "O.K. I believe it's hot." At that point, he has an intellectual belief that the heater is hot. When his Dad leaves the room, he says, "I wonder if it really is hot?" He then reaches out his little hand and grabs the heater bar with his fingers. The second his flesh burns he stops believing the heater is hot. (Note -- No shit! He also stops believing he's the best judge of what's hot and starts thinking he should have listened to his dad.) He now knows it's hot! He has moved out of the realm of "faith" into the realm of "experience."

In comes a heater expert and says, "Son, I have a B.A. in the study of heat. The heater is definitely not hot. I can prove it to you." The child would probably say, "Mr Expert, I don't care how many B.A.'s you have. I know that heater is hot -- I touched it! I'm not in the realm of belief, I'm in the realm of experience. (Note -- Don't kids just say the darndest things?) Goodbye."

If you have touched the heater bar of God's love and forgiveness, if the Holy Spirit has "born witness" that you are a child of God (Romans 8:16), if you have received the Gospel with "power, the Holy Ghost and much assurance" (1 Thessalonians 1:5), you will never be shaken by a skeptic.

When cults tell you that you must acknowledge God's name to be saved, that you must worship on a certain day that you must be baptized by an elder of their church, don't panic. Merely go back to the Instruction Manual. The Bible has all the answers, and searching them out, will make you grow.

If you feel intimidated by atheists -- if you think they are "intellectuals," read the book, God Doesn't Believe in Atheists. It will show you that they are the opposite. It will also instruct you on how you can prove God's existence, and also prove that the "atheist" doesn't exist.>>

I'd much rather eat the pasta of God's love and forgiveness, or maybe knock back the sidecar on the rocks of God's love and forgiveness. I don't want to BURN THE CRAP OUT OF MY HANDS on God's love and forgiveness.

As for the atheists, I love this logic. It means that not only do I regularly speak to people who don't exist -- including, paradoxically, my son's godfather, love that -- but that the few atheists I can't stand never existed in the first place, and if they do ever want to exist, they'll have to promptly go burn the crap out of their hands on some of God's love.

OH MY. . . . goodness

My computer died this morning. It's true. It's not a lie. Because if it were a lie, clearly I'd be going to hell.

Thank. . . .goodness this quiz is a handy guide to whether or not I'm going to hell. And the answer is a hearty yes. In fact, even the answers that appear to make you a good person sometimes turn out to be lies that you didn't even know you were telling, so it's the lake of fire for you.

I'd like to think trying to work toward being a better person, doing good deeds and helping others would bear more weight than lying just once on where your soul ends up. I also think these particular Evangelical Christians could learn a thing or two from Cosmo when it comes to quizzes. I mean, not even a single secret sexifying move to make him squeal with delight. Come on, now.

Last Minute Save

At this very moment, as I was about to say I had nothing to write about, our friend who has been waiting for her green card for 6 YEARS just called to say it was in the mail as of yesterday. She is now legal.

We've been asking the universe for this for a good long time now, so many thanks to the universe for helping a very deserving person take the next steps toward a productive and wonderful life.

Strangely, my husband just called her yesterday, and there has been a long-standing tradition of her getting some news on the progress of her green card within minutes or hours of speaking to us. She says we're her good luck charm. I'm very happy to be that for someone.

Stop, Hammer Time

It's hard to write the Christmas-countdown freak-out I'd planned to when I'm simultaneously watching The Hebrew Hammer. I have to go play "Gentile Invaders" now. Boy, am I sorry people I work with read this blog. I bet they're sorry, too.

File Under -- Please help the people of New Orleans

And I'm sure most people reading this have asked for that over the last three years.

I've been struggling with the idea of holiday gifts this year, for myself and for others. My kid doesn't really need the metric ton of toys he is going to get and the people I work with really don't need another -- MILKFAT SPOILER ALERT -- Junior's Cheesecake .

We finally finshed our lists last night, but what I really want is to get someone in New Orleans a hot water heater. And it looks like I can.

This awesome-seeming organization, Make It Right NOLA, (hat tip to the New York Times)spearheaded by Hottie McHottie Pants -- er, Brad Pitt, which means Hottie McHottie pants in at least 8 languages -- and a group of eco-conscious architects, is working to help rebuild the Ninth Ward with 150 sustainable homes. You can apparently pick something specific to donate, like a hot water heater or a tree.

So, Mom, because I know you read this, let's talk about making small donations to eachother's charities of choice, along with the 707 stuffed with Muppet paraphenalia that I know is due your grandson, or He Who Flies Around The Room On Golden Angel Wings, and Never Does Anything Irksome At All, at least, Not In Front of Grandma. It would be a nice lesson in giving for He Who Flies, and it might be a nice new family tradition.

And by the way, Brad Pitt, well played, but you are totally stealing my husband's look. Knock it off.

The Mind Boggles, I blog (gle)

Boy, that was bad. You can tell how close I am to my English teacher roots on any given day by how bad the puns are.

Coming back to this blog after a holiday always seems to be difficult due to work pileup. We also weaned my son off the bottle this weekend, which was kind of like being snowed in during a blizzard -- you stick close to home and create fun with whatever is at hand, but really, it just kinda sucks. The countdown to this event -- stockpiling treats, tense strategy meetings over grain alcohol -- was as close to planning the survival of a war as I ever want to get. End result, however, is that the kid is bottle-free.

My mind is boggling over how much my life has changed in the last few months and particularly in relation to this blog. Some of it I can't write about quite yet and some of it is still in the planning stages. I still have to write about one of my vacation adventures but want to get a sign-off first from other people involved (attention ridiculously beautiful and wonderful newly married couple -- I mean you). In the next week I'd like to go back over what I've discussed here to date and what has come of it so far. And, once again, not like I have any pipeline to the universe that you don't, but if you think a snarky girl in Brooklyn writing your hoped-fors on her blog might help you out, I do take requests.

Til later.